It's been a while since I've been able to think of much to write. The thing now is that there is far too much to write about. My mind is constantly full of information for the flower shop, worries about money, the lack of romantic entanglement, and the crazy lack of friends.
Now of course I am making strides in the friendship department. Reconnecting with people from my past and hopefully keeping them as my "adult" friends. One of them is an amazing woman whom I've known and admired for years. We were not terribly close when we were younger, but I think we could be great friends now. She's even convinced me to get a out of my shell, which is pretty huge, and she doesn't even know she did it! Now I, the girl who can't even look my peers in the eye is going to the movies with a group of girls. Some I know, and others I don't. But I am thankful for that. She also adopted my little Bambino, I know that he will have the best home with her amazing family.
As for the romance, well that is still majorly lacking. I did confess to one of the only people I talk to regularly that I have had a crush on him for a some time. This is after years of him flirting and all that jazz. I even suggested we go out . What a mistake! He promptly decided to go out with someone else and they seem very happy. Now, I can't begrudge someone for being happy. But I do miss our friendship now, it seems as though now that I have let him in on what I feel for him and his new found love he has no time. Of course I was hurt for a while and couldn't bring myself to talk to him. I know it was very childish to be that way, but I won't make any excuses for my feelings...they are the only thing I own.
Money? Well that seems to be a problem for not only me but hundreds of thousands of other people. I along with all of those people will no longer be receiving unemployment benefits. I just hate that I was on it this long. But what really gets me is that we are given no warning of when the money will stop. It could be today, it could be 2 weeks from now. And now is the time for me to start getting random bills, one being a bill for a semester of college at Morehead State University. I did finish one year at Morehead but I left one month in to my first semester of my second year due to medical reasons. Now the state of Kentucky is sending me bills, seriously? 8 years later?!?! And for the whole semester? Come on!!
As for Your Personal Florist, I am trying to learn as much as possible. I know almost everything when it comes to the billing and office stuff, but when it comes to the designing I'm a novice at best! I am ready and willing to learn all that there is, but at the same time I don't want to step on the toes of the girl who has worked with my mother for over a year. I know that one day the shop will be mine and I have to learn techniques so that I can be an asset to not only my mother but to myself. I need to make this work so I can feel like I am truly worth something. I'm working on it...
Love & Logic
Belle
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